...even the lifeless ones

I've been trimming it ever-so-slightly, for about three months, just to keep it from taking over his face. He has the sweetest little strawberry curls anyone has ever seen. I love his hair. I prayed for his hair, even before I had ever met my husband, graduated high school, all the way since Kindergarten. 

"Please give me kids with  red curly hair," I prayed. Granted this might've come from my strange obsession with Anne of Green Gables but more than likely it was fate. 

I saw him, the first week of school. He was riding the same bus about 3 seats back on the left. Wearing a hat, he was already told was not okay. "He's a rebel," I thought. 

I kinda liked rebels.

I digress. I could see it gleaming out from underneath his forbidden ball cap. Red curls. Wiry and long. He had been told to get his hair cut. He thought he had, it still wasn't short enough but no matter, like I said, It was the first week of school.

Weeks went on and I kept seeing him, stalking him. Finally, my "friend" nonchalantly, asked him to sit beside us at lunch. And the rest is history.

He was mine and all I ever could ask more for would be children that looked just like him. I got it. He does. His red curls and all. The only thing I can say is that I'm so glad I bore him, or people might not believe that he was mine. Or so they say...

Well, he got all of those curls cut off yesterday. We hated to see them go, but knew at the same time that we had to do something about the monstrosity. As I knelt down onto the cold floor of the salon and picked up his lifeless curls I thought, "It's only the beginning." I wrapped it in foil and tucked it away in the diaper bag.

There are going to be many things I'd rather not do. I'd rather not see him do. I rather not think about. But there will be many, many more that I can't wait to see, hear, feel. Like the first time he says, "I love you, momma" or the first valentine he makes for me with his own hands.

I have two of the sweetest men in the whole world here, in my house. And am so grateful for them both, for their beautiful strands of strawberry, even the lifeless ones.

He really did well, as long as he was eating...

I love this one...I can almost here a funny frenchman's laugh here *augh haugh haugh haugh

 

"Aww! How sweet am I?"

Much Love, 

Tori

{Lexi} | thirteen

I had to blog this session...why? Maybe because it was one of my favorites everrr...maybe because I'm obsessed with redheads...maybe it's because this girl reminds me of myself at her age. Not the gorgeousness, mind you (I wish) but more her personality.


I had the privilege of attending {Lexi's} 13th birthday party what seems like eon's ago in August? Her mother asked if I would get a few fun photos of the girls being, well, Jr. Higher's. Anyway, being short on time and daylight, we didn't get very many good ones. Feeling terrible about the fuzziness, noise and lack of light, I offered to come back at a later time and get some more of {Lexi} on her own. Her mom readily agreed and I was ecstatic. Have you seen how gorgeous she is? Tyler, Will and I headed over to Duncanville the other night and got to spend some wonderful time with their sweet family and I got to get me some serious portfolio images :)


So without any further ado, let me post some extras of my fave pics from {Lexi's} shoot!

She was having a hard time being serious at first.

She was just way too fun.

By the end she was getting really good at the 'model' look...I mean reeeeeaaally good.

I got her to laugh for a few though :)

 Check out those uber cool green nails!



Here are a few from our fun night together with the entire fam...

There are 4 girls in this family! And boy were they lovin' on the Wilburstein and he was lovin' it :)

Will got up close and personal with a hockey game, some books and one of the girls. Ashlyn just kept saying over and over, "I can't wait to be a momma!" How sweet is that?

There are 2 boys in this family and somehow I only got a picture of one of them! Sorry Grant, please know that you are loved, over there on your Playstation. This is Garret. He loves his "church clothes" so much so that he gets his Sunday outfit ready...on Monday night. And when he finally gets to church on Sunday, he inspects the men. If he finds they've not met his expectations he asks, "Hey! Where's your tie!?"

I'm so blessed to be part of the Worth Baptist Church and to be able to worship and fellowship with some of the most amazing people. I'm so thankful for the friendship of this family. May the Lord bless them richly for all of their kindness and hospitality!

I didn't document them enough

I think back to things we've done this summer as a family and I have several pictures. Every pictures bring a new and beautiful memory of our life together. But when I think back to the Christmas holiday last year, I have a hard time finding my memories. Life as a new mom. Snuggling with my newborn. Holding him close to smell his sweet milky breath. Why can't I find these memories? I didn't document them enough.

I have a few pictures here and there, but not many. So the other day, I made the decision, "I will learn to use the self-timer and I WILL document memories with my son." Here's my first.

Granted it's not very good, but it's something. Not for anyone else, but for me. I didn't have any make-up on. I still hadn't even gotten dressed. Yet, I will cherish this "10 month-old-mommy-and-me" photo forever. And will hopefully remember to make some more "mommy-and-me's" every once in awhile.

Tyler took these when he saw me frantically trying to work the self-timer in the backyard. (I love that guy!) :)

Get out there and get in some pics WITH your kids :)

I prayed for a friend

They joined the congregation when I needed her most. I had been lonely, longing for a friend after the move away from my home away from home for five years.

After graduating from Bible college in TN, my husband and I were married. We continued living in TN while Tyler worked on his Master's Degree. I worked at a Medical Billing office. Life was pretty good. Alot of our college friends still lived in town, (either married or still in dorms) so we were never short on fun times. Then we moved late August of 2007 to Texas where Tyler took the position of the Youth Minister at Worth Baptist Church. For a year, we made friendships with the teenagers and strengthened the hands of our Pastor and congregation.

But something was missing. I had left behind some very dear friends in TN, and needed someone to talk to. To laugh with. To cry with. No one fit that bill. A year passed and we heard that our Pastor would be interviewing a young man for the position of Music Director. He had a wife. I decided right away that I would do anything to make sure that we got along and prayed the Lord would help us to be friends and not have personality conflicts that I couldn't resolve. I prayed for a friend.

Turns out a month later, Pastor Weaver let us know that Andrew and Rachel would be joining the Worth Baptist Staff and that she was actually expecting a baby!

Excitement turned to the smallest bit of jealousy, I have to admit. I had been begging Tyler for the past year to let us try for a baby. He kept saying no, "we don't have the money," to which I'd reply (and everyone else at our Church) "you'll never have the money." He just wasn't ready. I was.

Rachel's baby bump grew bigger and bigger and so did my heart. We grew to be such good friends during this time. At times I would put my hand on her tummy and talk to the little girl inside, "We're going to be good friends, little one!" I meant it, because I knew it would be awhile before I had my own.

The baby came in March of '09 and as I held her in my arms at 3 days old, I fought back the tears of hope deep down inside. How sweet she was, how perfect. I wanted this.

Little did I know that while I was holding her, that God had already answered that prayer, a little boy was growing inside of me!

Since then Alayna has grown into a beautiful little 1.5 year old. And  my little Will is 9.5 months! Since he came I have gotten into photography bigtime. Rachel is now pregnant with her second little girl, Hannah! I asked her about two or three months ago if I could take some maternity photos, to which she readily answered "yes!" and I will also be photographing her birth around the first week of November!

Here are a few of my pictures of our maternity shoot this week :)

It happened one day in New York City...My first DSLR.

It happened one day in New York City. That was the beginning of it all. And the end of it all too.

Another hobby, another pursuit of happiness, another nickel tossed down the ol' mineshaft...wait where was I? Oh, yes, New York City.

We stood huddled around each other, a hot mess of sweating teenagers and a few exhausted adults. We'd been out all morning, canvasing the streets of Queens, mostly the Forest Hills area. Handing out tracts and giving the gospel. We had taken the subway over to the area called Woodhaven and walked a couple blocks until we finally arrived at the corner of 80th and 87th street. Now, we were waiting. Waiting for our fearless, yet somewhat spastic guide to arrive and show us what he would like us to help with next.

Anyone who knows me understands that I do not stand still, doing nothing, very well. So I glanced over at one of our Youth Workers. The large mass of beautiful, black plastic hanging from her neck was calling my name. It had been tempting me all day. I resisted the urge to ask to 'see' it several times. A few moments later a teenager had it in her hands. This was my chance! I asked if I could look at it, the girl said "sure," and handed it right over (cue evil laughter).

I started clicking. It felt so right. I was moving in and out of people, shooting bushes and doorhandles, rails, concrete steps. Anything I could, just to 'see what I could do'. As I looked back over my work, I was amazed at the ones that turned out. I of course was shooting in green mode, completely unaware of the work the camera was trying to do for me. Having no earthly idea that I could manipulate the focus by taking it off of dummy mode, I kept getting very frustrated. Knowing what I know now, I'm lucky I didn't break poor Mrs. Teddy's camera trying to manually zoom with it in AF while in green mode. Idiot.

The girl looked over the pictures and exclaimed, "Hey, there's some good ones in here, Mrs. Tori!" And I was smitten. I needed one of these lovely pieces of machinery for my own. It needed me to take it home and take good care of it.

Well, it didn't take me long to let Tyler know the exact make and model and cost. And it didn't take any longer for him to look at me, raise his eyebrows and nod. This meant, "Forget it, Are you crazy," in Tyler language. Feeling a little defeated and covetous at the same time, I continued to play around with Teddy's camera. I could see each shot in my brain before I took it. I knew what I wanted it to look like, I just wasn't sure how to make it work. Day after day, until the end of the trip, I messed with the delicate piece of equipment. If I were Teddy, I might've slept with it under my pillow. Good thing we were in opposite hotel rooms, or it might've come up missing once or twice.

It was time to head home. I told myself to stop the nonsense running through my brain. "I'm pregnant. We will never have money for that silly thing. Who am I kidding?"

The months passed and I decided that I would get my Nikon Coolpix point and shoot repaired. It was only a year old and worked great except for some reason one day it quit focusing correctly. So I sent it in under the 1 year warranty and they fixed it for free. 

I was getting along fine with my little point and shoot when I found out that one of the girls that had just graduated our youth group was selling her old camera, a Canon Rebel xs. And it just so happened to be the same one that Mrs. Teddy allowed me to drool over for a week. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I told my mom, my brother, my brother-in-law (he wasn't impressed - Nikon user) my husband, and even the little guy in my tummy. I even prayed to the Lord, "It might sound silly God, but, I really want a great DSLR to take pictures of my kids."

Well, the baby was born and we got some good video with my point and shoot. We even got a few cute pics. But then, one terrible day, I did something stupid. I was taking some pictures of my 3 week old baby and I dropped my camera, Lens Zoomed! It jammed. And with no money to get it fixed (it was past the warranty by 2 weeks) I was in complete despair.

I cried. I had no camera to take pictures of my newborn. No Camera! I cried to sleep that night. I cried the next day, Christmas Day. I moaned and complained all the way to my in-laws house (five minutes down the road). I sat in the living room of their house disheartened. No pictures on Christmas Day. First Christmas with my first child, lost in the abyss of no-cameradom.

Time to open gifts came. We tried to do it one at a time. My turn. Some cool Aloe Vera socks and a camping sporknife (I think that was Zach's idea, but neat, nonetheless). Cute little books for Will and a Crown College warm and fuzzy blanket. And then a rather heavy box was lifted over the back of the couch. The medium-sized box was headed in my direction. "This is from us and your parents, Tori," said my mother-in-law. I had wondered why there was nothing marked "To: Tori" under my tree, from my parents that morning.

I began ripping the paper off. I believe I revealed a Coffee Maker box? Or something of that nature. But it was what was inside that counted! "Well, thanks guys! A coffee maker! You didn't have to, really." They told me to open the box, so I tore into that thing like I was 8 years old again. And you'll never guess what was inside...A Canon Rebel xs! In fact, the one that my photog friend was selling. Along with the manual, an extra battery and a bag to put all of it in!

I don't think there could've been a happier girl in the whole wide world that Christmas morning. I had a brand new three and a half week old baby and my first DSLR! I don't think I'll ever have a better Christmas morning...unless of course my husband wants to buy me the Canon EOS 50D 15.1MP Digital SLR Camera and maybe stuff a Kelly Moore Hobo in mustard yellow, down in my stocking???

A few pictures from the very beginning, before I had even 1 clue.

                    Nasty flash and this is like the worst position Will could've been in.

This is adorable and sad at the same time. Sad because it's just not interesting, oh, and ya the crying little Will makes it pretty sad too, I guess.

Cute, but not near enough light and how much more unoriginal (word?) could my shot of this sweetness be? Not much more unorginal, it's pretty boring. And it's not Lauren's fault.

Awww...but no, this flash is hideous. That and I focused on the monkey instead of my child's face, I suppose. Dummy focus. A dummy was using it, that's for sure.

No, this was not during his jaundice days. He's orange because there wasn't enough light. Ew. That's all I can say. Too bad, cause it was kind of a cute picture. Can't ever capture this moment again :(

I love this picture. I just wish someone who knew what they were doing had taken it. I wasn't taking the picture because of Pawpaw Gillit, but that's obviously who my camera decided to focus on.

Anyway, now that we've all had a good laugh. I'm glad I have improved a little. Thanks to a lot of practice, some serious Internet time and a little help called text messages from ElisabethCarol Photography. Elisa has been such a HUGE help. I can't even begin to tell you what a great photographer and plain ol' great person she is. Check her work out for yourself!

I still have a LOT to learn, but I'm having a blast doing it. I might even have some to post here soon of my "practice run" with Elisa and my first shoot from this coming Saturday! Check back for updates early next week! :)