I love this kid, a year ago and today too...Remembering Will's first birthday party

Exhausted from the long day yesterday, I sit here and type out my remembrance of his day. His first birthday party. I wanted to soak it all in but instead all I could think of was if there was enough food, if everyone was enjoying themselves or if I was doing things too quickly or too slowly. Then there was the other thoughts, was my house clean enough, why didn't so and so come?

And then I think of all the good. The out of town sister-in-law that would've given her right arm to help in any way, the little man's face lighting up when he saw all of the people coming in, the best friends that DID come, Daddy in his pilgrim hat, lots of food and fun and good times with friends.

The party started at 2:00pm Saturday, the 20th of November, but the preparation started weeks before. The invitations were all handmade. Turkeys, Candy Corns, and Pilgrim Hats. A label with all of the party information was attached to the side of each invite with Raffia. The Cake was a giant cupcake! I saw this great giant cupcake pan at my mom's house when I went to visit her in October. I told her that it would be perfect for his party and she said she'd be happy to let me borrow it.

The Cupcakes were carrot cupcakes, regular size and minis with homemade white icing and topped with leaf paper punches in yellow, orange and brown.

The Treats were the cutest little Turkey Cookies that I snagged from Betty Crocker online! They'd be perfect for a Thanksgiving Day activity with older kids. My Mother-In-Law and I whipped up 39 of them in 3 hours two days before the party.

The Guests ages ranged from 2 1/2 weeks to 7 years. They played a game where they had to find "the turkey, potato and corn" (squeaky toys from Target) and they got the prize that was with it when they found it! (an Odessey cd or a Punch Balloon - who doesn't love a good punch balloon?)

All in all I think everyone had a good time. Maybe too good. Poor Will has been "getting" teeth for about 3 weeks now and it seems to have finally gotten to the worst. He hasn't slept a whole night through in 4 days. The last two nights, he has woken up 4 times! He's getting a little on the snotty side because of it and can't breathe when he lays down at night. So he drops his paci to breathe out of his mouth and then cries because he doesn't have his paci. It's. been. miserable. He woke this morning at 12am, back to sleep until 2:30, then asleep until 4am, went back to sleep and then woke up for good at 6:25am. He cried all morning and Tyler came in and said, "if you guys need to stay home from Church today it's ok."

Despite the permission to stay, we got up and started getting ready, only after 4 meltdowns and a total screamfest, we decided to forego church this morning. I tried.

We sat down in the living room and nursed him, he fell asleep. I couldn't quit looking at my little boy. My baby. My sweet little man with his red curls, all asleep in my arms. I love this kid, a year ago and today too.

After The Birth, What A Family Needs...

This is an amazing article that I wish I would've had when Will was born. You can bet that I will be implementing it for my next birth. Everyone is different. Some people want company, others just want peace and quiet alone with their new baby. I was the latter of the two :) A few people kept wanting to just "pop" in on me to visit...They wanted to hold the baby, which was completely understandable, but when I was exhausted and just wanted to rest with my baby, having people over to entertain was just another tiring thing.

I found this on a friend's FB page. Went to her website, copied and pasted with her permission. Please visit her site, Gloria Lemay, Birth Blog, for more information!
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After the Birth, what a family needs


Posted on October 28, 2008 by gloria

“Let me know if I can help you in any way when the baby is born.” … “Just let me know if you need a hand.” … “Anything I can do, just give me a call.”



Most pregnant women get these statements from friends and family but shy away from making requests when they are up to their ears in dirty laundry, unmade beds, dust bunnies and countertops crowded with dirty dishes. The myth of “I’m fine, I’m doing great, new motherhood is wonderful, I can cope and my husband is the Rock of Gibraltar” is pervasive in postpartum land. If you’re too shy to ask for help and make straight requests of people, I suggest sending the following list out to your friends and family. These are the things I have found to be missing in every house with a new baby. It’s actually easy and fun for outsiders to remedy these problems for the new parents but there seems to be a lot of confusion about what’s wanted and needed…

1. Buy us toilet paper, milk and beautiful whole grain bread.

2. Buy us a new garbage can with a swing top lid and 6 pairs of black cotton underpants (women’s size____).


3. Make us a big supper salad with feta cheese, black Kalamata olives, toasted almonds, organic green crispy things and a nice homemade dressing on the side. Drop it off and leave right away. Or, buy us frozen lasagna, garlic bread, a bag of salad, a big jug of juice, and maybe some cookies to have for dessert. Drop it off and leave right away.


4. Come over about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then fold all the piles of laundry that have been dumped on the couch, beds or in the room corners. If there’s no laundry to fold yet, do some.


5. Come over at l0 a.m., make me eggs, toast and a 1/2 grapefruit. Clean my fridge and throw out everything you are in doubt about. Don’t ask me about anything; just use your best judgment.


6. Put a sign on my door saying “Dear Friends and Family, Mom and baby need extra rest right now. Please come back in 7 days but phone first. All donations of casserole dinners would be most welcome. Thank you for caring about this family.”


7. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum and dust my house and then leave quietly. It’s tiring for me to chat and have tea with visitors but it will renew my soul to get some rest knowing I will wake up to clean, organized space.


8. Take my older kids for a really fun-filled afternoon to a park, zoo or Science World and feed them healthy food.


9. Come over and give my husband a two hour break so he can go to a coffee shop, hockey rink or some other R&R that will delight him. Fold more laundry.

10. Make me a giant pot of vegetable soup and clean the kitchen completely afterwards. Take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house and reline with fresh bags.


These are the kindnesses that new families remember and appreciate forever. It’s easy to spend money on gifts but the things that really make a difference are the services for the body and soul described above. Most of your friends and family members don’t know what they can do that won’t be an intrusion. They also can’t devote 40 hours to supporting you but they would be thrilled to devote 4 hours. If you let 10 people help you out for 4 hours, you will have the 40 hours of rested, adult support you really need with a newborn in the house. There’s magic in the little prayer “I need help.”

First Posted Aug 2001

The first birth {part 3}

This is part 3 of 'The first birth' story. You might want to read part 1 or part 2.

(cont.)
We finally made it to the hospital. Sixth Street and Rosedale at Harris Methodist Downtown has to be the bumpiest road in the world! I was dying in the backseat, or at least I sounded like I was. I was so mad at my husband, but, at the same time, totally understood that it was beyond his control. He pulled up to the door and I remember sitting in a wheelchair and being pushed into the tall building and feeling a little silly. I slid through the entrance and into admissions mooing like a cow. There I was met by what I thought was a man, Nancy told me later that it was in fact a woman. She put her hand on my belly and went on to let us know that we "should've been there hours ago." I was so annoyed by this, but decided I had more important things to do than argue with this ignoramus.


I kept my head down the entire time. From this point on, all I saw was feet. I was concentrating, focused, "in the zone."
 
Wheeled down the hallway at a moderate speed, I continued my long drawn out birth song. I'm sure all the people around me were quite amused, but I did not care. I remember doors to an elevator opening and then being pushed out into yet another hallway. At this point, I was sure that I would to have to be held at admissions and asked all kinds of silly questions but, thankfully it was not the case.
 
I zoomed into my hospital room #1 in the Labor and Delivery Unit. I can hear it in my head now, "The water birthing room, right?" asked the orderly who was wheeling me around, "Yes," answered my doula. Relief surged through me. "Thank You Lord, that no one else is birthing in that room tonight."
 
I was helped out of my wheelchair and up onto the bed. They strapped a Electronic Fetal Monitor onto my gargantuan stomach, and soon enough all of us heard the beautiful "thump...thump...thump" of my tiny man's heart.
 
Was seemed like a second or two passed, and I heard a sweet whispering in my ear, "Tori, would you like to get into the tub?" This was my Midwife, Lindsay Kragle. "YES!" was the rather quick response. I hopped off of that table and into the tub and soon as I possibly could.
 
It was like heaven, being in the water. My contractions were still powerful but the soothing warmness of the water helped ease them a bit. I stayed in the tub for awhile, although, it only seemed like moments to me. There I sat, moaning full force in that white plastic box. My sounds reverberating off of the walls. The floor made of tile and the empty walls magnifying every groan.
 
Every once in awhile, the little guy would wiggle all around during a contraction. I would grimace and say, "Oh no, please baby, don't move baby."
I would be coming down off of a mountain peak of intensity and he would move and I would start back up again. He wanted out. I wanted out.
 
I heard lots of whispering amongst those outside the bathroom. It had been Nancy and I for a little while. Then Tyler and Nancy. Then all three of us. Lindsay was in and out. After three hours in the tub, and me dilated to only a 5, Lindsay came to the side of the tub and said, "Tori, I think you might need to move out of the tub for a little while. You can come back later if you wish."
I moaned. I didn't want to move. Moving was scary, these contractions were scary, but I knew she was right.
 
They waited until my latest contraction eased and then lifted me out. As soon as I stood, I remember trembling with the intensity of another one. I clung to Tyler with all my might. My legs, like Jell-O, felt lifeless and weak. "Don't drop me!" I cried. "I won't drop you, I promise." But I felt insecure, so I sat on the toilet seat for a moment. I remember that after going to the bathroom, another strong contraction came. One of the strongest. Of all of them, they were the worst when I sat on the toilet seat. I moaned and my moaning climbed and peaked. On the verge of a scream, they patted my arm "It's OK, you're doing great, Tori." Nancy, "Those strong ones are bringing your baby down."
 
As soon as I could I stood and slowly made my way to the bed. And there I stood through a few more until I finally was able to climb up on top of the bed and sit. I was so tired. I had never been so tired in my entire life. In between contractions, my eyes would close and I would jerk back to reality with the tightening of the next one.
 
Not once, did I ever think, "I can't do this anymore. I need some relief." I did think, however, "I just wish I could sleep, for just a little while." But then my brain would kick in, "If you take something to rest, you'll have to do all of this again. Start over." And we all knew I wasn't going to do that.
 

 
I stood a few more times and climbed atop the bed a few times. My water still had not broken. I can see Lindsay's face in my mind, so I know that I must've looked up because she was saying something important.
 
Lindsay: "Tori, I would like to break your water if that's OK with you."
Me: "I don't want to be put on a time clock." - referring to hospital rules about how long they'll give you after your water breaking
Lindsay: "Oh honey, you're not. You're almost there. You don't have to worry about that."
Me: "OK."
Lindsay: "Now after I do this, the contractions are gonna get a little bit more intense."
Me: "How MuCH MoRe iNTeNSe!"
Lindsay, with a half smile: "Well you have to birth this baby, but you're gonna be OK."
Me again: "OK," like a little child.
 
They started to tilt the electronic bed back. I remember hating that. I scared me. It's funny the thing's that scare you when you're in labor. The fact that a baby was going to come out of ME, didn't scare me. But the bed going back down did.
 
I layed back. And one came. It was not cool. I felt as if laying down, I was working against my body. My womb was trying to tilt forward with all it's might and I was laying down making it hard for my Uterus to do it's job. And I thought of the thousands upon thousands of women through the centuries, made to lie on their backs during the entire labor process.
 
Prone, feet in stirrups, no control. And I wept inside for them.
 
I howled, I needed UP! Somehow my body said, "If you get up it will be better!" And Lindsay was breaking the bag of waters as fast and accurately as she could and I was crying, "Oh my, gotta get up." And she finished and there was a small rush and I was up and in control again.

After a little while my midwife, Lindsay whispered into my ear, "I have to leave now, Tori. My shift is over. Are you going to be OK? Gloria is going to take my place. She's right here with you."

I nodded. It was fine. I just wanted to birth this baby.

Looking up for one moment, I saw her. She sat there...arms in her lap, poised and calm. She looked like an angel. Gloria was here with me now, to help me the rest of the way through this journey. There was such a peace in the room. It was beautiful.

I worked through each pain. They were getting stronger and stronger then all of the sudden the urge to push came over me. It's feel right to explain it this way...
It was almost as if I was in the Ocean for the longest time. Being tossed up and down with the waves. In and out of the water taking a deep breath when I rose to the surface. I knew that I would be fine. I knew that I wouldn't drown because I had Someone watching over me. He had planned it this way. After hours of being on the Sea, I finally gave in and became part of it.

Leaning forward and grabbing hold of the bar, I began to push. After one or two pushes the pain overwhelmed me...something didn't feel right. I stopped, took a breath. Gloria came to me and checked quietly, "You have a lip left. You're at a nine and a half. You can wait; you don't need to push, unless you want to. Whatever feels right." I didn't see her face, my eyes still cast down and half closed, but I could hear her smile.

My eyes searched for Tyler. There he was, in the chair at the foot of the bed, watching intently, a half smile on his face and I was comforted. He was my rock. I worked through them patiently, sweat dripping down my stomach, hair hanging in my face. I moaned through each intensity. My moans rose with each contraction...in a crescendo my song soared high above the room. My doula asked me later if I sang, because of the vibrato in my labor song.

Finally, It took control, and I let it wash me ashore.

My body wanted to push again. My mind thought, "But what if it's not time, what if I shouldn't? No, she'd stop me...right? Oh, just push Tori, who cares." And I did. I pushed with all my might. I felt him move down. After my push, he came back up. I pushed again, and again. He stayed. I was so loud. It sounded like a loud growl..."Aaaaauuuuhhhhhhhh!!" And after about twenty minutes and with the final push, his head, his shoulders, his whole little body came tumbling out and into the careful hands of my midwife, Gloria. She quickly handed him to me.

First words to Will: "Hey little man, I'm your Mommy."
He didn't cry much, just enough to let us know he was okay. Daddy came over and glowed with pride. A smile ear to ear. He kept saying, "Look at him!"
"I think his hair is red!" I squealed. After his bath, we could see clearly his long copper strands.
And there I lay...After the long hard journey through the waves. I lay there on the shore, exhausted, with just enough energy to mother my child who lay there beside me.


I fed my child. And they checked him over. He was perfect. 9/9 on his APGAR. All of this on a beautiful Sunday morning at 9:00, the 29th of November 2009. He weighed 7 sweet pounds and 7 cuddly ounces. Will Haddon Gillit, William Tyler Gillit and Me, we spent a few precious moments together before the rest of the family came in. Those were the sweetest moments I have ever lived. I never want to forget the way he looked, smelled, sounded.

"For this child I prayed..." 1 Sam 1:27

The first birth {part 2}

This is part 2 of 'The first birth' story. You might want to read part 1 here.


(cont.)
We walked to the car, in between contractions. Once we were in, we headed to Chicken Express. It hilarious, cause it's all I wanted during pregnancy, and it's all I wanted here in labor too. As we pulled around to pay and get our food, I remember having a real tightening and saying "Oh no, here one comes, I'm gonna be loud." And Tyler looked at me and said, "It's OK, go ahead." And I did. I was mooing like a cow at the pick-up window of Chicken Express and pretty sure the cashier heard me and gave Tyler a honestly worried look.




We headed home, where I downed my meal and got to work. And as I write this, I think to myself, what real work it actually is. You watch the movies and how they portray birth. And you either realize that it is all fake, and believe your body can do this amazing thing, that usually isn't at all as dramatic as T.V. makes it out to be. Or, you freak out after the movie is over and accept the fact that it 'will be horrid' and never even think of birthing the way God made you to.


Well, I must preface all of this with "Every one's birth is different." But, even with all of the natural birth information I had (12 weeks of Bradley Method, Ina May and Dr. Sears and lots of other reading materials) I never realized how much work it would take to have a baby and how intense it really is. Birth is painful. Anyone that tells you otherwise is a liar. But is a natural, vaginal, unmedicated birth possible? Yes, more than possible. It is empowering. But still painful.


All that said, I remember right after I finished eating I got the birth ball out that my friend lent to me. I rocked on my knees on the floor back and forth with my torso resting on the ball, my face buried in a hand towel. And the towel was soaked with my tears. I cried and cried for at least the first hour. It hurt so bad. But the fact that I was crying revealed that I wasn't hardly even started. After that first little while, I stopped crying. Because it stopped hurting? No, no, no...just because it time to get serious. It was like, inside I was saying "You need to get down to business. Stop crying. This is happening and crying isn't going to make it any better!"


I used to wonder what all of the first stage of labor did for the baby actually coming out. Now I know. Working through that stage, trying to stay relaxed, while feeling these intense cramps, was like scaling a rock wall. The beginning was hard, and it continued to get harder, but I could do this!


While rocking on the ball, I kept saying to Tyler, "Ohhhhh, Ohhh it hurts so bad, Tyler." Like I was trying to make him understand. Even though he didn't and NEVER will. He spoke to me sweetly. Tried to empathize with my pain, "I know sweetie, I know." He tried to pat my back, but I didn't want him to move his hand. He didn't understand this so he simply backed off. An hour or so went by and he quietly mentioned the tub. "Would you like to get in the tub?" I replied with a "yes" rather quickly, I believe.


I had used baths toward the end of my pregnancy to calm me down after a hard day at work in the daycare, to soothe my anxieties about labor, to practice 'relaxation'. And at this moment it sounded like the perfect way to labor.


It seemed like only seconds had passed and he was back whispering to me that the tub was full of water. I nodded, worked my through the contraction I was in and stood with his helping hand. I quickly made my way to the tub, where Tyler helped me in. The hot water felt so good on my stomach, and my back, which was just starting to ache, was relieved also. I sat leaning on my arms and moaned out loud for a long time and the contractions came strong for a while. I started getting a few breaks in between and those were a relief. Tyler thought I was getting a little too comfortable and should maybe move around a little. We wanted to make sure things kept moving right along. Keeping the baby's heart rate up.


With his help, I got my robe around me and climbed up onto the bed. I was getting very very tired at this point and tried to lay down. As soon as I did, I would start contracting and would have to get up on my hands on knees. I felt that it was impossible to have a contraction laying down, no matter if it was on my back or side. Sounding it out kept my mind off of tensing up. If I kept breathing and moaning, then I would remain open and every muscle loose. As soon as I stopped, I noticed that I would clench my teeth, furrow my brow and start shaking my head back and forth, like I was saying "no" to the pain.


With each stronger contraction, my moans went up in range. The peak of each contraction at the very beginning was the loudest and then I'd slowly descend, only to breath in quickly and start the next one. They were coming much closer together now. With no break hardly, in between, I felt as if I was starting to loose control. "It's not fair. Where's the rest, I thought all women had?" My mind was reeling with the intensity of the tightening.


My arms were starting to get too tired to raise myself up, and my knees had no strength for all the work they had been doing to hold me. I had been on the bed for awhile and had thrown up a couple times from the pain. I always had a feeling I would be a "nauseated laborer." A chronic migraine sufferer, It just seems like that's the way my body deals with pain. Tyler kept changing out the bags, and I kept growing weaker. He suggested I try some peanut butter. I tried and could hardly swallow it. Food was revolting. I wanted nothing at all.


He suggested I go back into the tub, so I made my way into the bathroom again. And I remember thinking, "Where is Nancy?" You see, my doula had some serious things happening in her own life that prevented her from attending me. We had talked about it earlier in the day and decided that I should use her back-up, Nancy. She asked if I was comfortable with that and I told her that it was more than fine. Now, I wondered when Tyler would call her. Little did I know, he had been keeping count of minutes between contractions and had been calling her every once in awhile to tell her how I was progressing.


"I'm calling Nancy, honey," assured Tyler, just when I needed to hear it. He had been doing a fantastic job, but around 9:30pm it had gotten to where, I believe we both felt like we could use the help. "Okay," I replied, relief echoing in my voice. This gave me a new confidence. I felt a deep wave of peace rush through me, as I thought of my doula, her comfort, assistance and strength, there to guide me the rest of the way.


It seemed like no time at all had passed and I heard a woman's voice in my bedroom, "Tori I'm coming in, OK?" And I remember plain as day, telling her that I was "indisposed" and she said, "that's the way it should be." She came near the tub to help me out, wrapped the towel around my body and her strength around my heart. I felt a new energy, calmness and assurance as she helped me to the bedroom. There are times when a women needs another woman's touch. A helping hand from one who has climbed this mountain before. And this was one of those times. I needed Tyler and I needed Nancy. I thank God for the friends He gave to me for this moment.


We had been taught in our Bradley class to labor as long as you possible could at home. This cuts down on unnecessary interventions in the hospital during the "waiting process". Had I gone to the hospital when I had first started laboring, then I not sure I would have had the birth that I did. My instructor, Donna, had told us to wait until I was "all seriousness, down to business" about it all, and then to head to the hospital.


Nancy applied pressure to my back. And it was heavenly. The back labor had started a little while before she had gotten there and was one of the hardest parts. I felt as if my back was on fire. Applying pressure really helped. Tyler had done it for awhile and his hands were getting tired. Nancy had a fresh set of palms ready to work! I got back in the tub for awhile, getting out a few times to use the toilet, and the contractions I had there would be the most painful. During those, my knees would start shaking and I would get the chills and hot flashes all at the same time. I was throwing up and shaking my head "no" so much, that Nancy and Tyler both thought for sure that I was in Transition. I even remember pushing once or twice.


Nancy started to get a little nervous at that point. You see, she had an unplanned homebirth because her child's head started crowning while she was still in her home! She was not about to deliver my baby, she told me later. She looked at Tyler and said, "I think maybe you should start the car."


She helped me dress. Now that I look back, I have no idea how I did it. The pants, the shirt, the sneakers even. We slowly made it outside and into the backseat of the car. I remember that the trip to the hospital was one of the most awful experiences. Not that I would've been doing anything differently anywhere else, I was still in first stage, but it was like, "Get me somewhere, so that I can birth this baby.


We finally made it to the hospital. Sixth Street and Rosedale at Harris Methodist Downtown has to be the bumpiest road in the world! I was dying in the backseat, or at least I sounded like I was. I was so mad at my husband, but, at the same time, totally understood that it was beyond his control. He pulled up to the door and I remember sitting in a wheelchair and being pushed into the tall building and feeling a little silly. I slid through the entrance and into admissions mooing like a cow. There I was met by what I thought was a man, Nancy told me later that it was in fact a woman. She put her hand on my belly and went on to let us know that we "should've been there hours ago." I was so annoyed by this, but decided I had more important things to do than argue with this ignoramus.


I kept my head down the entire time. From this point on, all I saw was feet. I was concentrating, focused, "in the zone."

More to come soon...

The first birth {part 1}

Sorry this has taken so long to post. I just wanted to make sure everything was right. And it's a pretty long story (17 hours worth, to be exact) so it's coming in parts :)

Everyone was waiting, watching...I was expecting. REALLY expecting. Five days had passed since the day he "was to arrive." In a culture where no one waits for their baby, people threw every comment they could my way. Like baseballs that I couldn't seem to avoid, hurled towards my face at top speed. "You haven't had that baby yet" or "You look like you're about to pop" or maybe "When are you going to have him?" And I thought to myself, "He'll be here when the Lord wants him to be here. God already knows his birthdate." And smiled and nodded and yes, I even laughed sometimes at the questions...when I had gotten enough sleep the night before, and was able to answer without crying.


Hormones raging, I walked into my church building and over to the pew where we usually sat. It was our Thanksgiving service and I had dodged every "baseball" I could that night. I briskly waddled over to my seat. My parents were there, his parents were there, and a handful of other faithful believers came filtering through the doors. Soon the service started.


This was always my favorite service of the year. Our church family gathers two nights before the special holiday and give thanks together to the One who "freely gives us all things" and it is beautiful. Tears flow as cancer survivors stand and praise God for His marvelous healing, while others thank Him for walking with them through their fiery trials.


This year was so special. I was to have a baby boy to thank the Lord for! But, he hadn't come yet. I told myself I wouldn't worry. Wouldn't let it get to me. But it did...a little. "That's OK, he'll be here soon," I told myself.


And the days dragged on...and the phone calls kept coming. And my cell phone was turned off. So? They called my parents. And my parents answered "Well, not yet" *Cue look towards me sitting on the couch, belly bulging. And Thanksgiving Day came and went. And the outfit I had bought him went back into his closet, along with the pilgrim hat and turkey bib.


Day after Thanksgiving we decided to go shopping. I know, what was I thinking? "Eight days passed due" was what I was thinking. I needed to walk. "Maybe his head is stuck and walking will bring him down?" While we were out, Tyler bought me a beautiful, black dress. "You deserve it," he said.


I called my Doula, Hannah. She said to let her know if anything happened. Later that day, we went to the hospital to have the baby monitored. I laid on the hospital bed, belly bare except for the EFM, I thought "Little guy, you better be OK. And you might want to show everyone that you're OK, so that we can keep waiting on you." No sooner had I thought this, than Tyler looked at me and said "Are you having a contraction right now?" And I said "Ya, but just a little one." He said he could see them on the screen. All of the sudden, they started clipping along at a steady pace. Mind you, I'd had next to nothing until now. So I got kind of excited...and so did Tyler. The nurse came in and checked on me, said everything looked great and that I could go on home. "Come back Monday and we'll check your fluids. Until then, take it easy, no more shopping," she said with a wink. So I took her advice and went back to his parent's house, where his and mine waited for us.


I kept having little contractions here and there for about 10-15 minutes and then they would stop. Finally, around 9pm they were done for good. And I was tired from the days events. I said goodbye to my brother and Tyler's brother and my brothers girlfriend, who were leaving to go back to college the next day. They all said "Make sure you call us if you go into labor and we'll stay around instead of leaving!"


The contractions had stopped and we were both tired out from a day of shopping, eating, anticipating. As I laid my head down on my memory foam pillow, legs nestled around my body pillow and large belly hanging over the top, I thought "tonight could be the night." Something inside me always though my true labor would begin in the night. That I would awake from my sleep with a cramping feeling, and my sheets slightly wet. Little did I know, how wrong I was.


I woke at 5am Saturday morning with small contractions again. As I got up to get a drink of water, I tried hard not to get too excited.  I ate a little something (It's amazing how hungry you get when you're pregnant) and headed back to bed. After sleeping another two and a half hours I woke to feel my uterus contracting again, but nothing more intense than earlier. I told Tyler and he decided to stay home with me.


They were getting pretty regular and around 9am my brother called. Tyler answered the phone, "Hey man, is Tori gonna come over and say bye?" "I think we're gonna stay here," Tyler replied. "She doesn't want to do anything that might throw her off again." My brother understood, but offered to come to my house to say goodbye. I didn't feel comfortable having anyone at the house. I was hoping to keep these contractions going for real. Tyler told Ransom that I loved him and that we would be praying for his safe return to school.


Around 11:30am they started to ease off. Then they slowed to a complete halt. My heart was sad. I thought "Not again. We keep doing these 'fake' things. It's driving me crazy!" I called my doula, and she said to maybe go for a walk. So we did. Around the street one time, stopping now and then when I would have 'a good one'. Back at the house, I was tired and Tyler was still being such a help. He was making sure I had plenty of water and getting things ready for just in case.


It had been an a few hours since a good strong contraction had come, and I was getting antsy. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. "Wooah," I said to Tyler. "That was an intense one. Haven't had one like that yet!" And it eased and then another and another. He looked at me excitedly, "What do you want to do? Lie down?"
"I need to eat," I said very matter-of-factly. It was like something inside was saying "Get some nourishment NOW, you're gonna need it."


We walked to the car, in between contractions. Once we were in, we headed to Chicken Express. It hilarious, cause it's all I wanted during pregnancy, and it's all I wanted here in labor too. As we pulled around to pay and get our food, I remember having a real tightening and saying "Oh no, here one comes, I'm gonna be loud." And Tyler looked at me and said, "It's OK, go ahead." And I did. I was mooing like a cow at the pick-up window of Chicken Express and pretty sure the cashier heard me and gave Tyler a honestly worried look.


We headed home, where I downed my meal and got to work.

More to come soon...