and then I came home and cried...

Yesterday was hard. No, it was really, really hard. I think I would've cried a bucket of tears if I had not been surrounded by people...namely, my friends. Friends with kids who obey them.

And there I sat.

Asking him to do something over and over. And did he respond? No. Did he obey? No. In fact, that's all I heard. "NO!" and then my faced turned scarlet in embarrassment and my heart ached like never before.

Why did it ache?

For plenty of reasons, actually. Because my child is turning into a little man. Because he doesn't want to listen. Because I was ignored. Because I was ignored in front of others. Because I was embarrassed about being ignored in front of others. Because I questioned where I'd gone wrong, what had I not done right, even wondered why I was trying, and then feeling guilty that I wondered why I was trying.

Every mom goes through something. And it may not be this. Maybe you're child's quiet. Too quiet. Maybe their bully-ish. Maybe they are bossy. But even knowing that we all have our battles, I sat there on that beige carpet, surrounded by friends, feeling ashamed and so alone.

And then I came home and cried.

People will give advice and pointers and try their best to help. They'll give scripture and remedies and books and quote great authors. But when you're sitting there, a complete mess and ready to give up, all you can do it pray. And so I did... And to all of you sweet moms out there giving it your best and it doesn't seem good enough. Just know, it's not. But His best is perfect.

Lord help me when the days are so long,
and my temper is so short,
and my eyes are tired, and my arms ache, and my spirit is sad.
Lord help me when my flesh is stronger than my knowledge of You,
and my tears flow more than the smiles do,
and my heart breaks more than it laughs.
Lord help me when I more like me than I am like You,
when I'm less of the mother I should be and more of the sinner You redeemed.
when I am more of what I am than what You would have me become. And help me as I teach them to be like You, to learn more of You myself.

After The Birth, What A Family Needs...

This is an amazing article that I wish I would've had when Will was born. You can bet that I will be implementing it for my next birth. Everyone is different. Some people want company, others just want peace and quiet alone with their new baby. I was the latter of the two :) A few people kept wanting to just "pop" in on me to visit...They wanted to hold the baby, which was completely understandable, but when I was exhausted and just wanted to rest with my baby, having people over to entertain was just another tiring thing.

I found this on a friend's FB page. Went to her website, copied and pasted with her permission. Please visit her site, Gloria Lemay, Birth Blog, for more information!
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After the Birth, what a family needs


Posted on October 28, 2008 by gloria

“Let me know if I can help you in any way when the baby is born.” … “Just let me know if you need a hand.” … “Anything I can do, just give me a call.”



Most pregnant women get these statements from friends and family but shy away from making requests when they are up to their ears in dirty laundry, unmade beds, dust bunnies and countertops crowded with dirty dishes. The myth of “I’m fine, I’m doing great, new motherhood is wonderful, I can cope and my husband is the Rock of Gibraltar” is pervasive in postpartum land. If you’re too shy to ask for help and make straight requests of people, I suggest sending the following list out to your friends and family. These are the things I have found to be missing in every house with a new baby. It’s actually easy and fun for outsiders to remedy these problems for the new parents but there seems to be a lot of confusion about what’s wanted and needed…

1. Buy us toilet paper, milk and beautiful whole grain bread.

2. Buy us a new garbage can with a swing top lid and 6 pairs of black cotton underpants (women’s size____).


3. Make us a big supper salad with feta cheese, black Kalamata olives, toasted almonds, organic green crispy things and a nice homemade dressing on the side. Drop it off and leave right away. Or, buy us frozen lasagna, garlic bread, a bag of salad, a big jug of juice, and maybe some cookies to have for dessert. Drop it off and leave right away.


4. Come over about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then fold all the piles of laundry that have been dumped on the couch, beds or in the room corners. If there’s no laundry to fold yet, do some.


5. Come over at l0 a.m., make me eggs, toast and a 1/2 grapefruit. Clean my fridge and throw out everything you are in doubt about. Don’t ask me about anything; just use your best judgment.


6. Put a sign on my door saying “Dear Friends and Family, Mom and baby need extra rest right now. Please come back in 7 days but phone first. All donations of casserole dinners would be most welcome. Thank you for caring about this family.”


7. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum and dust my house and then leave quietly. It’s tiring for me to chat and have tea with visitors but it will renew my soul to get some rest knowing I will wake up to clean, organized space.


8. Take my older kids for a really fun-filled afternoon to a park, zoo or Science World and feed them healthy food.


9. Come over and give my husband a two hour break so he can go to a coffee shop, hockey rink or some other R&R that will delight him. Fold more laundry.

10. Make me a giant pot of vegetable soup and clean the kitchen completely afterwards. Take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house and reline with fresh bags.


These are the kindnesses that new families remember and appreciate forever. It’s easy to spend money on gifts but the things that really make a difference are the services for the body and soul described above. Most of your friends and family members don’t know what they can do that won’t be an intrusion. They also can’t devote 40 hours to supporting you but they would be thrilled to devote 4 hours. If you let 10 people help you out for 4 hours, you will have the 40 hours of rested, adult support you really need with a newborn in the house. There’s magic in the little prayer “I need help.”

First Posted Aug 2001