I stand there leaning against the wall, and cry. And in here, I'm safe because no one can hear, and no one can see and I can heave and moan and let the salty brine cascade down my cheeks because there's water all around.
My troubles float past my ankles, and trickle down the drain. "When is it going to change? I can't...I just can't keep on like this." All the friends I love and cherish, who I would ask to help me with this load, cannot help. And there is no one that I can talk to, not a listening ear or a shoulder to lean against. None to hand me a tissue soft and white to dry my tears. Or any friend to tell me of the mascara that's a smudgy mess under my puffy eyes. Not a crutch in sight to help me hobble on down this treacherous road of snares, past the 'Slough of Despond' and up this 'Hill of Difficulty'. And when I think no one cares and there's not one who would understand, He whispers, "I'm all you need."
And God is so good to give us friends. They are flecks of pure gold as we trudge through the murky waters of life. But sometimes, He likes to leave us lonely of friendship, and bereaved of a shoulder so that we'll long for His sweet listening ear.
I realize that I have been crippled and clinging to the side of the cliff, crying for help for so long. I finally look up instead of looking down. I finally hear instead of scream. I finally trust instead of weep. And He takes me into His loving arms, that were there all along ready to help and longing to deliver.
He alone is able to save! He is the only One, Who can not just listen to my problems, but solve every one. And He knows everything I'm feeling, and He feels every pain I've suffered. My sweet Heavenly Father loves me with an unrivalled love.
And now I sit in disgust, thinking of how I sob for an earthly burden bearer.
So, like a child, I crawl up into His lap for just a little while and He wipes every tear away. And He reminds me that He is always near, and that He 'will never leave me'. I wrap my arms around Him and tell Him that I'm sorry for not asking Him for His help first. And just before I go He says "I'm a 'friend that sticketh closer than a brother' and only I am 'able to do exceeding abundantly above all' that ye ask or think."
And right now, in this sacred moment, I need nothing, no one, just Him and His friendship.
I dry my hair and pillow my head, with all my troubles left in the tub. Clear mind, clean heart.
Singing I go, along life's road, praising the Lord, praising the Lord.
Singing I go, along life's road, for Jesus has lifted my load.